H  O  M  E          
Theological, Doctrinal, and Spiritual Musing - and whatever other else is on my mind when I notice that I haven't posted in a while.
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Daniel of Doulogos Name:Daniel
Home: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
About Me: I used to believe that evolution was reasonable, that homosexuality was genetic, and that people became Christians because they couldn't deal with the 'reality' that this life was all there was. I used to believe, that if there was a heaven - I could get there by being good - and I used to think I was more or less a good person. I was wrong on all counts. One day I finally had my eyes opened and I saw that I was not going to go to heaven, but that I was certainly going to suffer the wrath of God for all my sin. I saw myself as a treasonous rebel at heart - I hated God for creating me just to send me to Hell - and I was wretched beyond my own comprehension. Into this spiritual vacuum Jesus Christ came and he opened my understanding - delivering me from God's wrath into God's grace. I was "saved" as an adult, and now my life is hid in Christ. I am by no means sinless, but by God's grace I am a repenting believer - a born again Christian.
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Daniel's posts are almost always pastoral and God centered. I appreciate and am challenged by them frequently. He has a great sense of humor as well.
- Marc Heinrich

His posts are either funny or challenging. He is very friendly and nice.
- Rose Cole

[He has] good posts, both the serious like this one, and the humorous like yesterday. [He is] the reason that I have restrained myself from making Canadian jokes in my posts.
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This post contains nothing that is of any use to me. What were you thinking? Anyway, it's probably the best I've read all day.
- David Kjos

Daniel, nicely done and much more original than Frank the Turk.
- Jonathan Moorhead

There are some people who are smart, deep, or funny. There are not very many people that are all 3. Daniel is one of those people. His opinion, insight and humor have kept me coming back to his blog since I first visited earlier this year.
- Carla Rolfe
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Thursday, August 30, 2007
The Pastor's Wife
The Pastor's wife...?Today's Christian culture dictates to us that the Pastor's wife must be the most spiritually mature matron in the assembly, she must be active in as many public ministries as the church is willing to support, and she must also be a counselor and teacher to all the other women in the church - not to mention she should be looking after the church bulletin, her own family, and her husband as well. There is a notion that her husband's ministry is only half the equation, and she is the other half - she must be perfect in every way, and if she isn't, clearly either her husband isn't really "called" to minister, or she should never have become a pastor's wife...

I have no idea where this comes from. Okay that's not true, I am pretty sure I have some idea of where this sort of thing originated from, and it isn't from God, but that wasn't the point - the point was to articulate my incredulity that Christians who are supposedly are looking to scripture and the Holy Spirit for guidance tend to make up all sorts of traditions for themselves, and to make matters worse, not only do they perpetuate their own ideas, but with each iteration it gets worse. Already there are some pretty big churches that have husband-and-wife pastor teams. Thabiti Anyabwile has a pretty good run down of that particular trend (H/T: David Kjos), and I must say, Thabiti is certainly right in noting how silently such a thing takes root; and if I can add to his writing - I think it begins with that very sort of Christian culture that assumes extra-biblical roles upon the pastor's wife as a matter of course.

If you have never read this Q & A session with Patricia MacArthur (Pastor John MacArthur's wife) it is a very, very good read; her answer to the question, "What is your advice on ministering and raising a family while also maintaining a role as pastor’s wife and fulfilling the needs of the ministry in the church? How do you keep that in balance?" is pure gold.

I wonder how many pulpit ministries are hindered, crippled, or even destroyed by the inflated expectations placed upon a pastor's wife, and by extension (through the fallout) upon his family and his ministry. I also wonder how many congregational cultures have been led so far down this bunny trail that they read "the two shall become one" as a validating scripture for husband/wife pastoral teams - all because people are more willing to follow a well established trend than to crack open their bible and challenge every practice that exalts itself against what they find in God's word! I believe this is the kind of baggage that ought to be tossed out.

I shouldn't have to spell it out, but allow me: It -can- happen that the pastor's wife is not the eldest matron, nor the most spiritually gifted, nor (dare I say it!) the most spiritually mature woman in the church >gasp!< It may be that she is just a common Christian who is married to a person who is a gifted leader and/or teacher. She may not even be the best Christian - the only thing we ought to be concerned about is that she, like everyone else - has her heart set on knowing the Lord, and is unwilling to abide sin, not in the church, not in her household, not in her own life - if she is fighting the good fight, that is enough. Why bind a larger burden on her than the Lord does?

What I say about the entire extra-biblical ministry we have imposed upon the pastor's wife - whether we dreamed it up ourselves or perpetuate the practice by allowing it to go on unchecked - the same applies to other vacuous religious burdens we either create or foster - the watchmen on the wall blow their horns, but who is listening?


posted by Daniel @ 1:55 PM  
  • At 6:55 PM, August 30, 2007, Blogger Even So... said…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • At 6:55 PM, August 30, 2007, Blogger Even So... said…

    I agree, and stated so on TA's blog post...this is what I said there (and what I will repeat here and in a future post at my site)...

    I am the pastor of a local church, and I am married. However, my wife is not the co-pastor, she is the pastor's wife. She is to be honored and respected, but she is not to be seen in the same way. We may liken this to Mary, she is not the Messiah, she is the Messiah's mother, she is to be honored and respected, but she is not the co-redeemer, and my wife is not the co-pastor.

  • At 7:56 PM, August 30, 2007, Blogger Bryan said…

    I'm not married, nor a pastor, but from what I understand I think Sarah Edwards exemplifies what a pastors wife should be; someone of good character who loves her husband, takes care of the family and will use her gifts to help the ministry.

  • At 8:35 PM, August 30, 2007, Blogger Daniel said…

    JD - I agree.

    Bryan - I agree.

  • At 1:26 PM, August 31, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I am much blessed in that the church we have been attending since December has a Reformed pastor whose wife exemplifies Patricia MacArthur's answer to question you included in your post.

    She was an elementary schoolteacher prior to their having children and now homeschools their three young daughters. They have opened their home (across the street from our church) to us and others for Sunday lunch every week. I so enjoy just sitting in their presence as a couple and seeing how they love and honor one another, as well as discipline and enjoy their children. I can see how they fear God in what they do and don't say to each other and their kids.

    I learn so much by just watching my pastor's wife, how she honors her husband in humility, serves him and respects him.

    She has a blog and recently she noted that being married to a pastor requires sacrifice, but that there is no "he said-she said when you're looking first to what He said."

    I never considered her as part of her husband's ministry, but am as blessed by her example as I am by his teaching.

  • At 11:54 PM, August 31, 2007, Blogger David said…

    I am reminded of former presidential candidate Alan Keys' answer to the question of what Mrs. Keys would do as First Lady: "Take care of Mr. Keys."

  • At 10:29 AM, September 12, 2007, Blogger Kay said…

    I found this very helpful, Daniel, thankyou.

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