Daniel,

While I agree with your post, it raised a question. Many couples do not practice any form of birth control because of their belief that God is the author of life, children are a blessing, we are commanded to be fruitful, etc. When that couple is already stretched thin financially or emotionally or even physically, are they guilty of false piety?

On one hand, I know of couples who it seemed would be better off practicing NFP at least and others who seemed like they couldn't take on another child, only to have the resources appear just when needed.

I'd appreciate your thoughts.

Jen

 

Jen, I have had to deal with this question personally. My wife has a congenital heart condition that is sorely aggravated by pregnancy, so that each of our four pregnancies so far as given me, at least, many opportunities to fret about "what if?".

There is a difference between having a biblically informed theological opinion about what we (as Christians) ought to do, and quite another when the rubber of that opinion meets the road of real life. I mean, is God really the Author of life, or are we? Does God really decide where and when we will be born, who will be our parents, and what will be distinctive about us, or is that all a by-product of our biological makeup?

Frankly, we are programmed from the very beginning to believe that God has nothing to do with life; that God plays no real role in conception, and that we, and we alone are the reason anyone ever gets born. Calamity or human intervention might prevent a birth, but pregnancy itself is a biological crap shoot. We can't really blame secular humanism, atheism, and unchecked agnosticism for painting this picture for us, since beginning with no God, one can hardly conclude anthing else.

But scripture paints a very different picture. God is the Author of life, knitting us together in our mother's womb, knowing us before we had any substance, then bringing that substance into being - curdling us like milk in our mother's belly. Scripture leaves no room for doubt - God controls where, when, and to whom we are born. He gives us life, and without Him none of us receive life. The moment of conception is much more than a biological reaction, it is the culmination of creation - a moment that God has had a very present hand in bringing about.

Which is to say that I do not believe that life just happens, rather I believe that God brings into being every single life through providential means - and that it is intended to be a blessing, that none are accidental, and that all are created in His image.

Now the first question we might ask in the wake of such a statement is typically from some fringe/alarmist camp, so I will address some of the more typical questions that could be asked:

(cont)

 

What about the rape victim?

Well, if we are convinced that we have the power in ourselves to make life happen through procreational methods, then we usually go ahead and "plan" where and when that life happens (hence birth control etc.), and something like a rape (and subsequent pregnancy) can only be understood as an tragic intrusion into our careful plans - so much so that some even regard the innocent life newly created as nothing more than a hateful reminder that they were forced to bear the child of some rapist, assuming they even allow this life to live - many see rape as reason enough to kill their unborn child (as though one act of violence [rape] could ever be made better by a subsequent but more heinous act of violence [cold blooded infanticide]).

But if we are truly convinced that God is the Author of life, as opposed to our selves, then (in the ideal at least) a child born from rape will be regarded as a gift from God just as any other conception would be regarded.

What about children with severe disabilities?What of it? The person who denies the value of such a child is in fact denying his or her Maker, or suggesting that God, in His infinite wisdom, has somehow goofed by allowing this "travesty", etc. etc.

Then we have the trivial, the sort of, "the baby might be an inconvenience to the life I plan to live" sort of stuff - you know, what about my career? My income? My spare time? Does God really intend to for my wife and I to pop out babies until one or both of us is no longer physically able?

Here we see again, the idea that we author our own children - and when we think like this, the question is, "How many children does God expect -us- to make?" I don't want to downgrade my life style by having too many kids, right? But if we are not the Author of life, then such considerations are silly. Wives do not withold yourself from your husbands, nor husbands from your wives, lest you be tempted. Your spouse is to have access to your person, and you are to have access to your spouses person - for so God has commanded. If God gives you a child, will He not give you the means to support that child?

So for me, I believe that God gives the child, and gives the means to support the child - perhaps not in the high-falutin life we might desire, but certainly according to His promises. We homeschool, have four kids (so far), and do it all on a single income. We don't have two vehicles, and we live in a modest house - but we have more life than most people with far more house, far more money, and far less children.

If I lost my job, and my house, and was living on the street and learned that my wife was pregnant - let me tell you, I would rejoice with great joy, not worrying for a minute because I know that the God for whom not one sparrow can fall to the earth without his say so, the God who Authored that life, knows what He is doing, and chose me and my wife, from all the people on the earth, to have the privilege of becoming parents to a life God has brought into being - and I would not be concerned about it one bit. If I am given a stewardship by God, will the judge of all the earth not provide me with the means to carry out that stewardship?

So that is my answer.

Now, having given that as an answer, I would hastily add, that I didn't jump out of the gate with that sort of conviction, but it formed itself in me as I surrendered myself to both the sovereignty of God, and the truths of scripture that painted these things on my heart. Unless God so paints on the heart of another, who am I to judge that one?

 

My daughter was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (part of the autism spectrum disorders) and Anxiety Disorder - both of which are not a surprise to either my husband or me. Her behaviors and symptoms have been obvious for all of her six years. (Blogged about it here:
http://ourdailythread.blogspot.com/2009/05/understanding-grace.html )

Frankly, I consider both she and we very blessed to have her just the way God made her - even not knowing why. This is one of those few times I really don't feel a drive to pursue the "why."

And I believe He's lighting the path for her ongoing evaluations and therapies - both traditional and non (holistic, diet, etc). In some ways, it's almost like being on a mission trip. It's a grand adventure filled with joys and new learning and meeting many people with such rich and varied experiences.

Part of the intrigue (for lack of other word coming to mind) for me in this journey is learning how differently God has designed each of our minds. Some people don't process information the same way we would expect them to. I think of Temple Grandin (if you've heard of her - she's known as "the woman who thinks like a cow" - there's a YouTube documentary about her by that title). She's a woman with autism (probably Asperger's) who designed at least 1/3 of the cattle facilities in the US. She thinks in pictures, not words. It's am amazing story.

And her story, and my daughter's, as well as your child's - and the friends of my daughter who likewise suffer from various skin disorders and allergies - they're all uniquely designed for some purpose and God is all the more glorified through their "disabilities" (again, for lack of better term). I don't really see them as "dis"-abled (and I'm not a politically correct person at all), rather - differently abled.

I have people close to me who are of the mindset of "name and claim it" with respect to healing, and I couldn't disagree more, although I'm usually a bit quieter about my views than they are. I believe, as you stated, I will continue like the woman at the door of the unrighteous judge to knock regarding not only my child's state, but the spiritual state of my loved ones, and pray that God hear the cry of my heart - and yet, nevertheless, His will more than mine - and may I/we be conformed to same. Because He is God and I am not - and His ways are not my ways. His thoughts not mine. And His ways far exceedingly better than I can even think of.

I'm blathering on, but just wanted to stop in to say I appreciate your post - more than you know.

 

Susan, I hear you. My wife worked for years with differently abled children - specifically within the autism spectrum. She now has a very keen eye for autism and has been critical in the diagnosis of several young kids we have known through the years. I think you rightly describe them as differently-abled. One of the most charming and godly children in our assembly has very severe eczema, and as heart breaking as it is, it has produced a character of profound resolve, joy, and trust in this little one - we all notice that it is [1] profoundly exceptional, and [2] directly tied to her having to deal with the persistent drain this skin condition is on the little one. The parents have grown so much on this account, as have all the siblings. I don't think God gives these things *as* gifts, but I do think God uses these things to deliver gifts, not only to the individual, but to the family and people in that individual's life.

Thanks again for the comment.

 

Oh, and my wife and I are quite familiar with Temple Grandin. She took the kids to tour a barn designed by Temple for the reason that it was designed by Temple. The kids did a big study on it, and part of that study was recognizing God's grace in her situation.

 

Daniel,

Thank you for your response (re: pregnancy & children). I am still a work in progress in this area. My mind is there, but my heart is slow to follow.

Jen

 

Jen,

If Daniel doesn't mind my responding to you regarding your last comment, you are not alone. Since learning about Reformed theology, my mind took a great leap forward, and I willingly left my heart well behind.

Only recently, by God's grace, has He allowed me to see what a distance this has caused between both Him and me, as well as others and me. He has recently stirred a deep longing in me that cries out, "I would give up all of my head knowledge for an intimate relationship with Jesus." And I would give it all up - because I know truly what infinite joy lies in the heart relationship, not the head knowledge. Knowing about God and knowing God are so very different.

I'm not preaching to you here, just sharing that I am at the same place as you, I suspect. If Daniel doesn't mind my sharing, I wrote about that difference (head and heart) here: http://ourdailythread.blogspot.com/2009/05/where-rubber-meets-road.html

It's good that you ask the questions you do. The more we seek and lay ourselves down to truly hear what God has to reveal, the more He fills, I believe.

 

Daniel,

Btw, I've noticed the same spiritual sensitivity or submission in a homeschool family with six children, all of whom have skin or allergy condition (the four most affected being two sets of twins, ages 6 and 10). Their hearts are most tender to God, and they are my daughter's best friends.

Likewise, I don't see abilities (differently and otherwise) as gifts, but blessings nonetheless - or at least means through which we are blessed.