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Daniel of Doulogos Name:Daniel
Home: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
About Me: I used to believe that evolution was reasonable, that homosexuality was genetic, and that people became Christians because they couldn't deal with the 'reality' that this life was all there was. I used to believe, that if there was a heaven - I could get there by being good - and I used to think I was more or less a good person. I was wrong on all counts. One day I finally had my eyes opened and I saw that I was not going to go to heaven, but that I was certainly going to suffer the wrath of God for all my sin. I saw myself as a treasonous rebel at heart - I hated God for creating me just to send me to Hell - and I was wretched beyond my own comprehension. Into this spiritual vacuum Jesus Christ came and he opened my understanding - delivering me from God's wrath into God's grace. I was "saved" as an adult, and now my life is hid in Christ. I am by no means sinless, but by God's grace I am a repenting believer - a born again Christian.
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The Buzz


Daniel's posts are almost always pastoral and God centered. I appreciate and am challenged by them frequently. He has a great sense of humor as well.
- Marc Heinrich

His posts are either funny or challenging. He is very friendly and nice.
- Rose Cole

[He has] good posts, both the serious like this one, and the humorous like yesterday. [He is] the reason that I have restrained myself from making Canadian jokes in my posts.
- C-Train

This post contains nothing that is of any use to me. What were you thinking? Anyway, it's probably the best I've read all day.
- David Kjos

Daniel, nicely done and much more original than Frank the Turk.
- Jonathan Moorhead

There are some people who are smart, deep, or funny. There are not very many people that are all 3. Daniel is one of those people. His opinion, insight and humor have kept me coming back to his blog since I first visited earlier this year.
- Carla Rolfe
 
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Tuesday, February 14, 2006
The Newest Arrival!!
I know, I know, you are probably thinking about the new little boy that has joined our family. But I am not talking about that new arrival. The new arrival I speak of came in the mail.

A few weeks back now, the boys over at the Thirsty Theologian had a contest for joke telling, and having nothing better to do with a few moments, I told a few jokes. One of these jokes was deemed worthy (though I tied with Jonathan Moorhead for top honors - and was selected by lot as the overall winner) as the best of the bunch - and in honor of that title, David Kjos (that man of brevity, wit, and charm), send along a prize - my choice of either a mug or a ball cap with Thirsty Theologian logo on it.

I waited, and waited. And wondered, and waited some more.

Finally it came!



The box was actually quite mangled, it looked like they tried to use it as a table leg for a three ton slab of granite. I mean, it is a sturdy enough piece of cardboard, but there are some stresses that even sturdy cardboard cannot handle.

My guess is that it took so long because the U.S. postal service was embarrassed about botching the job, or perhaps when it came over the border, the Canadian postal service saw how wrecked the box was, and they had to call a meeting to find out what to do about it:
"Should we just send it like that?"
"Hmmm, maybe we could phone the guy and tell him what happened?"
"We don't really know what happened now do we?"
"We could make up a story about it being used as a table leg for a three-"
"Naw - let's just wrap it up in a plastic bag with a note on it that says we're sorry"
"Hey I like that"


So it came wrapped in a very apologetic bag:





In case you can't make it out it says:

We Apologize

Dear Customer (I like the personal touch there)

The enclosed item of mail was either received in this condition or damaged
during its processing. We sincerely regret this unfortunate accident and any
inconvenience it caused. (that is the secular way of saying, "
be warm and
filled
")

We are always concerned when mail entrusted to our care is damaged and we
have made considerable improvements to reduce such accidents in our operations.
(translation: "Hey - we tried okay??")

Please be assured that we are continuing to make every effort to improve our
service (
except keeping some smaller packages from being stomped by angry
postmen
)

Warning: Please keep this bag away from your children (I suppose after
thrashing my mail, and doing little more than sending me an "
I am justified
in having smashed your mail, never the less I am sorry for having done so
"
message written on a thoughtful plastic bag - they don't want to make
the problem worse by asphyxiating my children. - it is those special touches
that really warm the heart.)

Okay - at this point, I am very grateful that I opted for the ball cap and not the mug!

I absolutely love the ball cap. It came with a nice little personal note from David - which was very cool - and I don't want to let on what a sentimental fool I am, so I will just say that while I like the cap, I like the thought behind the cap even more.

Anyway, here it is:



Try not to mind the goofball expression on my face. I had to snap the shot with the timer - and I had to get far enough away that the flash didn't wash out the logo. Plus, I wanted to look like a cross between a toy maker, a trucker, and seventies Elvis impersonator - it is a hard look to get when you are in a hurry.

I was worried that the guys over at the Thirsty -T- would think I was an ingrate or something for not having mentioned the cap - truly, I checked my mail box every day and waited like a kid waiting for Christmas. When it finally did come, I saw why they had the delay, and wanted to share that with some humour. Truly, the postal services in both our countries are above reproach most of the time, and since no harm was done to the cap in the sending of it, or in making of this post...

Thanks again guys!
posted by Daniel @ 6:07 AM  
11 Comments:
  • At 8:59 AM, February 14, 2006, Blogger Jim said…

    Nice!!

    Maybe gifts can help my pathetic blog become more popular too? :)

    Yeah that's it, I could always buy my readership, well maybe not...then again...

     
  • At 10:33 AM, February 14, 2006, Blogger David said…

    Daniel,
    You never looked better! I suppose it would be self-serving to suggest that that picture would make a good avatar. Yeah, that would be tacky.

    Jim,
    If it makes you feel any better, our traffic has actually decreased slightly since the contest.

     
  • At 10:44 AM, February 14, 2006, Blogger Rose~ said…

    Cool! I could send you a hat covered with roses, but I don't think it would fit your nancy-boy persona. (or maybe it would)
    ;~)

     
  • At 11:02 AM, February 14, 2006, Blogger Daniel said…

    I am just happy to have received it.

    My wife was not as impressed as I was ("Let's keep the box and bag until I can snap a pic and post about it...!") She was nice about it, just not overly interested.

     
  • At 4:14 PM, February 14, 2006, Blogger Jim said…

    David,

    I actually went over to see if you had some other contest in the works. :) Us blog readers are a finicky bunch.

    God bless,
    Jim

     
  • At 1:27 AM, February 15, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Daniel,

    That was one of the funniest posts I have read in a while. Thank you for the laughs. I am glad you finally received your hat, but the picture of the box and the message from the Post Office was the icing on the cake.

    It is interesting how you can look different in almost every picture. The picture of you and your beautiful new son is the best though. I also liked your recent avatar where your hair was longer. I thought you looked a little like Mac Powell of Third Day.

     
  • At 7:38 AM, February 15, 2006, Blogger Carla Rolfe said…

    Daniel,

    funny thing happened on the way to Canada Post...

    A pastor friend in KY sent up some homeschooling books we loaned him a year ago, and the box arrived in the exact same condition as the one in your pic, and it also included the "apology" plastic wrap.

    In our case, the books were messed up (torn covers, bent up pages), and not even placed back in the box neatly, after the contents were "inspected".

    It's frustrating that the post office does this, but this is the risk you take when your return address label is the name of your Baptist Church, and the customs label is clearly marked "homeschool books". I guess we're a threatening bunch, eh?

    Okay, rant over. The hat looks great, kudos to David and his fine marketing skills, and to your bald head and it's new hat.

    SDG...
    Carla

     
  • At 8:40 AM, February 15, 2006, Blogger Kim said…

    I received some home school books in one of those infamous Canada Post bags. It was damaged slightly, but still usable. Really frustrating.

     
  • At 6:21 PM, February 15, 2006, Blogger Jonathan Moorhead said…

    I'm green with envy!

    IT COULD HAVE BEEN MINE!!!!

     
  • At 9:21 AM, February 16, 2006, Blogger Daniel said…

    IT COULD HAVE BEEN MINE!!!!

    Come on, you don't really believe in chance do you? ;-P

     
  • At 4:00 PM, February 19, 2006, Blogger 4given said…

    Hilarious... another great ab workout today... the other one was from the Triablogue and his post on "Marriage Made in Heaven" questionnaire.

     
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