H  O  M  E          
Theological, Doctrinal, and Spiritual Musing - and whatever other else is on my mind when I notice that I haven't posted in a while.
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Daniel of Doulogos Name:Daniel
Home: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
About Me: I used to believe that evolution was reasonable, that homosexuality was genetic, and that people became Christians because they couldn't deal with the 'reality' that this life was all there was. I used to believe, that if there was a heaven - I could get there by being good - and I used to think I was more or less a good person. I was wrong on all counts. One day I finally had my eyes opened and I saw that I was not going to go to heaven, but that I was certainly going to suffer the wrath of God for all my sin. I saw myself as a treasonous rebel at heart - I hated God for creating me just to send me to Hell - and I was wretched beyond my own comprehension. Into this spiritual vacuum Jesus Christ came and he opened my understanding - delivering me from God's wrath into God's grace. I was "saved" as an adult, and now my life is hid in Christ. I am by no means sinless, but by God's grace I am a repenting believer - a born again Christian.
My complete profile...
The Buzz

Daniel's posts are almost always pastoral and God centered. I appreciate and am challenged by them frequently. He has a great sense of humor as well.
- Marc Heinrich

His posts are either funny or challenging. He is very friendly and nice.
- Rose Cole

[He has] good posts, both the serious like this one, and the humorous like yesterday. [He is] the reason that I have restrained myself from making Canadian jokes in my posts.
- C-Train

This post contains nothing that is of any use to me. What were you thinking? Anyway, it's probably the best I've read all day.
- David Kjos

Daniel, nicely done and much more original than Frank the Turk.
- Jonathan Moorhead

There are some people who are smart, deep, or funny. There are not very many people that are all 3. Daniel is one of those people. His opinion, insight and humor have kept me coming back to his blog since I first visited earlier this year.
- Carla Rolfe
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Wednesday, May 09, 2007
My Opa Died This Morning.
My Opa passed away this morning, he was 87 or so.

Earlier this week he went in for surgery, and yesterday was the first day he was off of morphine, and consequently coherent. This morning he was in good spirits, kidding with the nurses about finally being able to eat something - and looking forward to a bowl of porridge. Then he turned to his side and died. They say it was probably a blood clot, but it is too early to tell.

Last night my father phoned me to give me the news that Opa was out from under the morphine, and wanting to talk to us grand kids. My dad was going to give me his phone number, but I declined. My wife was out on a "girls night out" with some Christian friends - off to eat chocolate and listen to some testimonies and whatnot at one of our local churches. She had been looking forward to it for some time. She almost didn't go because just last night she had also gone out with the same friend to see "Tree 63" - apparently some Christian band. It may sound like my wife gets out a lot, but these were simply isolated opportunities that came back to back for her, and I was glad to watch our little ones so as to enable her participation in these events. Yet our youngest is still nursing, and that means that after an hour or so he must be coddled and cooed constantly or he will cry for his mother. I mention this I suppose to excuse my own selfishness in not calling my grandfather when I had the chance. I had my hands full when I dad called, and trying to chat with my Opa on the phone - a man I haven't called in years - promised to be both awkward and time consuming. Besides, he had come out of the operation with flying colours. It was the best of the best case scenarios, and his recovery promised to be speedy - in fact they were already scheduling him for another operation to remove some possibly cancerous growths that they found while operating.

Just this morning as I was looking for a martlett to cap off some bare wire on the air conditioning addendum to our furnace - wire that used to have a martlett covering it up (our youngest daughter probably took it off because it could be taken off), when I came across the little pamphlet from my Oma's funeral last year. As I looked at my Oma's smiling face on her funeral service memorial card, I thought to myself - its hard to believe that I only have one grandparent alive now, my Opa. Somewhere in my heart I was terrified by the prospect of seeing him. I don't think He knew the Lord at all, and I knew if I saw him I would want to share the gospel with him - but for some reason I was afraid to. Wretch that I am.

Anyway, that made the news I received a few minutes ago that much more horrible. Opa is gone - my exact words to my father last night when he tried to give me the number to call Opa? "No. I am not going to call him."

If you find some time today to pray for me and my family, that would be a kindness most welcome. I can deal with the loss of my Opa, but how weary I am on account of my own selfishness. Wretched is a word to solemn and polite to describe it.


posted by Daniel @ 10:01 AM  
  • At 11:39 AM, May 09, 2007, Blogger Kim said…

    So sorry, Daniel for your loss.

  • At 12:21 PM, May 09, 2007, Blogger Carla Rolfe said…

    Our condolences Daniel. Your post has such a familiar ring to it brother. We'll be praying for you & your family.

  • At 12:45 PM, May 09, 2007, Blogger St. Lee said…

    Daniel, my prayers are with you. I believe most Christians have or will face similar circumstances. When I was a Christian of only a few years, a couple who I had been close friends with, stopped to see me at my shop when they were visiting from out of state. I felt very "convicted" that I should witness to them, and felt lousy afterward when I allowed my flesh to win, and did not share the gospel with them. The next time I saw the husband was at his wife's funeral about a year later. She had died in a tragic car accident.

    I am quite sure that all who read your blog will be praying for you, and I know that God will heal the pain you feel right now.

  • At 2:03 PM, May 09, 2007, Blogger 4given said…

    Aah... now I see why you left that comment on my blog today. Our Heavenly Father really does work all things for our good and His glory. Even such things as this.

    This post of yours made me cry... I have been in similar shoes, and it hurts deeply. Please know that you and your family are in our prayers.

    Press on in His truth and His love for His glory,

  • At 3:30 PM, May 09, 2007, Blogger Even So... said…


  • At 9:14 PM, May 09, 2007, Blogger Neil said…

    Very sorry for your loss Daniel.

  • At 11:26 PM, May 09, 2007, Blogger Jonathan Moorhead said…

    Praying for you and your family. God bless you.

  • At 4:48 AM, May 10, 2007, Blogger Garry Weaver said…

    Praying for you.

  • At 8:00 AM, May 10, 2007, Blogger DJP said…

    My sympathies. Regrets are among my bitterest emotions, and they're a daily thing.

    Satan would use regrets to paralyze us; God, to educate, reform, and improve us.

    I do pray God will bless you and, if it isn't too psychobabbly to say, heal your thoughts and feelings. I pray it will turn to an opportunity to witness. In this candid post, I'm sure it already is.

  • At 9:58 AM, May 10, 2007, Blogger Marcian said…

    Praying for you and your family.

    I hope this post jumps into my mind when I'm faced with a similar situation. Thank you for writing this.

  • At 1:40 PM, May 10, 2007, Blogger Bryan said…

    You know I'm praying for you buddy.

  • At 2:51 PM, May 10, 2007, Blogger Craver Vii said…

    Ouch, Daniel; I'm so sorry. Yes, I'll pray for you today.

  • At 6:33 PM, May 10, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Oh Daniel, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I echo Dan's sentiments. You and your family are in my prayers.

  • At 6:46 AM, May 11, 2007, Blogger Kristina said…

    I'm sorry. I'll be praying.

  • At 6:35 AM, May 13, 2007, Blogger Daniel said…

    Thank you everyone for your kind prayers. The last few days have taught me anew how much I need the Lord, but it wasn't the kind of lesson that was all smiles and ease - rather it has been a time of self-critical evaluation, which has revealed once again to me (and with greater clarity) how sinful sin is. Were it not for Christ such knowledge would devastate me entirely.

    I think I am through the first assault, and I am confident that the Lord will use even these days for a greater good.

    Thanks again for your prayers.

  • At 6:42 AM, May 13, 2007, Blogger Daniel said…

    P.S. - I should mention that we had the most unusual visit on Friday. A fellow whom we had never met prior was going door to door trying to get people to switch telephone companies. I was a little late answering the door, but heard my daughter saying, "Dad there is man at the door with brown skin and I don't know him."

    The kids are well aware that they are not allowed to open the door themselves, even for people they know. So I went up and talked with the fellow, and (because I don't like to talk through the door), I invited him in.

    He was a breath of fresh air friends. He had been in our house only a minute or so, and seeing all my bibles and theological texts, Christian literature, etc. lying strewn about and piled up, he asked about where we go to church. The fellow was from Jamaica originally, and, truthfully, we knew each other for Christians almost immediately. He was a spirit filled man, and he shared something of his own testimony with us which was a great encouragement to me, and before he left we prayed together.

    I think this was one of the ways the Lord answered some of your prayers, for if you pray like I do, you probably asked the Lord to put someone in my life that would encourage me in this time - and so the Lord was faithful.

    Thanks again.

  • At 6:21 PM, May 14, 2007, Blogger 4given said…

    What an incredible way the Lord works... He is indescribably GOOD. SO GOOD. Thank you for sharing this. There have been countless times in which the Lord provided in such ways. I remember when all 6 of my children were very ill and I cried out to the Lord that he would allow for me to take a much-needed break as my husband was on call at the hospital. Within 5 minutes of crying out to the Lord, my doorbell rang and it was a dear sister in Christ that was on her way home and found herself pulling up into my driveway instead... and then telling me that she stopped in because she wanted to give me a break... having NO CLUE that all of my kids were ill... and having, of course, NO CLUE that I just prayed that prayer. I told her to beware of the fact that my children were very ill; but that did not deter her and she never got sick.

    Praise God for His perfect provisions for such sinners as we are... His grace is abounding.


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