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 - Endorsed - Indifferent - Contested
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| The Nashville Statement
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Name:Daniel
Home: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
About Me: I used to believe that evolution was reasonable, that homosexuality was genetic, and that people became Christians because they couldn't deal with the 'reality' that this life was all there was. I used to believe, that if there was a heaven - I could get there by being good - and I used to think I was more or less a good person. I was wrong on all counts. One day I finally had my eyes opened and I saw that I was not going to go to heaven, but that I was certainly going to suffer the wrath of God for all my sin. I saw myself as a treasonous rebel at heart - I hated God for creating me just to send me to Hell - and I was wretched beyond my own comprehension. Into this spiritual vacuum Jesus Christ came and he opened my understanding - delivering me from God's wrath into God's grace. I was "saved" as an adult, and now my life is hid in Christ. I am by no means sinless, but by God's grace I am a repenting believer - a born again Christian.
My complete profile...
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Daniel's posts are almost always pastoral and God centered. I appreciate and am challenged by them frequently. He has a great sense of humor as well.
- Marc Heinrich
His posts are either funny or challenging. He is very friendly and nice.
- Rose Cole
[He has] good posts, both the serious like this one, and the humorous like yesterday. [He is] the reason that I have restrained myself from making Canadian jokes in my posts.
- C-Train
This post contains nothing that is of any use to me. What were you thinking? Anyway, it's probably the best I've read all day.
- David Kjos
Daniel, nicely done and much more original than Frank the Turk.
- Jonathan Moorhead
There are some people who are smart, deep, or funny. There are not very many people that are all 3. Daniel is one of those people. His opinion, insight and humor have kept me coming back to his blog since I first visited earlier this year.
- Carla Rolfe
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| Six Weeks Old Yesterday! |
 Our youngest turned six weeks old yesterday. She is, by all accounts, a wonderful little child; full of life, charm, and strength (look at her holding up her head like a pro!) My wife and I have been richly blessed; all colic aside.
Yes, it is true. Our little sweetheart has begun to suffer through colic (and we with her) each night for around three hours or so, usually beginning around ten thirty or eleven o'clock.
Our eldest, who is now about to turn thirteen, was the only other child with colic that we had, and I should say this - you seldom get the opportunity to do a rubber-meets-the-road sort of comparison between who you are today, and who you were thirteen years ago, than to compare the way you handle identical situations then and now.
Thirteen years ago I was not walking with the Lord, and though my wife and I had been married for five years our marriage was not a good one. We were selfish, and worldly, and those unwelcome traits only grew when our first child developed colic. In my selfishness I quickly began to resent the way my wife wanted to share the duty of comforting my screaming and inconsolable son at two a.m. in the morning. I had a job, so naturally I used that to justify my selfishness, and the resentment that permeated every moment I gave to trying to soothe my tiny, red-faced and teary eyed son.
I cringe in shame within my soul when I think back on that.
So also I marvel then at what a difference the Lord has made in my life thus far. Sure, I am an "experienced" father now, in that I understand colic much better than I had, and I realize that infants are not necessarily inconsolable, you just have to know how to console a colicky child† Yet such experience does not, nor can it, touch the work of love in my heart that the Lord has done.
Not that I love my newest daughter more than I loved my eldest son, but rather I love my God and His blessing to me. I love my wife, and strongly desire to provide whatever comfort and security I can to her. So it is that I have found great joy and comfort in soothing this little one in the wee hours of the night. I count it a privilege and an honor to give my wife rest, even at my own expense, while I eagerly take my turn at soothing our newest child.
I tell you, it is things like this that make the words of Christ so real - He gives to His children life, here and now, more abundantly (c.f. John 10:10). What has changed in me that what before was a source of contention, tension, and resentment, is now a well of joy and opportunity, so that I am thankful above all else? What has changed is that I trust the Lord, and live to serve Him in the strength that He provides.
Praise be to God who does more than save us from hell, but gives us joy in all things here and now.
† To soothe colic, swaddle your infant firmly, so that his or her arms are pinned at the side (careful not to over do this, or restrict the neck - use your common sense), then holding the child on his or her side (facing you, and against you), gently rock and (very lightly) jiggle the child as you shush him or her. This shushing is supposed to imitate the sounds of the womb, not provide you with an avenue to vent any frustration you may be feeling (not "shush! shush! You noisy child!", but "ShhhhSHHHshhhSHHhh").
Note: The baby may, at first, fuss a bit, as if this is not only not working, but even aggravating the situation, but you should see a marked improvement, and calmness soon enough.
Note also: Marry yourself beforehand to the sure knowledge that this is going to take a while - an hour maybe - and that in that hour the babe may have, in spite of your efforts, a moment or two here and there, where they fuss again, but continue the course, and the babe will find rest far sooner, and far more quietly, and far less stressfully, than he or she would have otherwise.Labels: blessing; praise, colic, parenting |
posted by Daniel @
7:28 AM
3 comment(s)
 
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| 1004: Christian Parenting Decisions: Spiritual vs. Religious Superstition |
My wife and I received a godly friend over yesterday for a visit. In the course of the visit my youngest daughter came in, all giggles, and shared her (latest) favorite scene from Nickelodeon's Avatar: the Last Airbender.
Our guest was a little shocked, because the characters in the cartoon live in a world that has been modelled after a fantasy medieval Asian, where reincarnation is not only believed, but a reality, where there are spirits who influence the world, and where there are people with supernatural abilities to manipulate either water, fire, earth, or air. The main character is fashioned after a young Buddhist monk, and is expected to save the world from the king of the Fire Nation, known as the Fire Lord.
Sounds like a regular pagan party doesn't it? I mean, seriously, reincarnation, spiritism, then the whole savior thing. One might ask, "What were you thinking exposing your little ones to this sort of influence?" I mean, even if it seems harmless, the argument is that it will erode good Christian teaching, since it exposing young minds to (albeit cartoon-ized exaggerations of) pagan mythology.
The question I have had to ask myself before I allowed my children to watch this stuff was whether or not that was a both a valid portrayal, and again a valid argument.
Now, I want to say this up front. This shock from our friend set my thinking in this direction, as I found myself justifying the choices I had made as a parent, and in thinking them through I thought it would be a good thing to set the process out here, for others to benefit from, or in the case that I am way out in left field, correct me.
Consider the argument, in its distilled form: Any parent who exposes his children to people (or depictions of people) who practice other (false) world religions is doing something wicked and evil.
That is, I believe, what the argument comes down to. I have heard it argued that Satan uses such things as inroads into darker things - like drug dealers push the relatively harmless drugs on people first (i.e. marijuana), then later, when they are comfortable with the idea of doing illegal drugs, they are more open to try harder substances.
Now who in their right mind is going to deny that entry level drugs lead to darker things? No one with a sober conscience and any exposure to these things. I personally have seen many of my friends and family disintegrate over the years as they moved away from the (relatively) harmless "beginner" drugs, and into darker things. It happens, and there is no sober way of denying it. There may be exceptions, but no argument is very sound when it depends upon the exceptions. So on the outset when this kind of argument is imposed on the idea of watching shows with fictional cartoon depictions of a hodgepodge of pagan notions, it seems rather reasonable, and even convincing for many.
I mean, seriously, once that argument is given, if it is challenged, the fall back would naturally be that it is wiser to avoid it, "just in case" - I mean, why take chances on this stuff ...right? Surely no good parent would knowingly put their child in harms way. In the same way, one ought not to expose their little ones to anything that could possibly be used as an inroads into spiritism and paganism.
Now, before I attend to that thought I want to say that I respect that. If a parent is convicted that letting their child watch a cartoon wherein the characters are not Christian, on the grounds that their children may be influenced to abandon Christ by a quirky and fun cartoon depiction of non-christians doing things together, then I don't want to say that they are bad parents or even over-reacting. To their own master they stand or fall, and it is not my place to judge their actions, especially if their hearts are focused on Christ. In other words, what I write here is not intended to suggest that they are wrong in what they do, provided what they do is being done in the service of our Lord.
The question I have had to ask myself is whether it is okay for my children to be entertained by the adventures of cartoon characters living in a mythical cartoon world based loosely on medieval Asian culture, given that such things as reincarnation, and good/evil spirits are presented as real in the cartoon setting.
I remember this one lady who claimed to be a Christian. She sent her children to a Christian school, and they were not allowed to read any books or watch any television, or see any movies or hear any music that had anything whatsoever to do with such things as magic or spiritism, or paganism or anything. I never would have known this except I chanced to strike up a conversation with her daughter one day, and was amazed to learn that she was not allowed to read, "the Hobbit" because the book had a dragon and a wizard in it (or something like that).
This girl knew the difference between real and make believe; but her parents didn't want her to be influenced by anything that was both make believe and supernatural.
I was struck by the absurdity of these parents protecting their children from the influence of make believe stories. The question I asked myself at that time was whether it was godly zeal, or just empty religion for these Christian parents to presume upon the possibility that their children were so feeble of mind and understanding that they were in danger of blurring the distinction between real and make believe should they be exposed to the make believe sort of supernatural stuff that fuels most sci-fi fiction today.
I confess, My four year old has been influenced by watching Star Wars the Clone Wars™. Much of his play time involves whooshing around a plastic lightsaber, and making "Weearr, Weeoww" noises, often punctuated by holding his hand out in a gesture of pretend power and saying in his own fumbly English, "I use-the-force you!". Clearly he is being influenced by mythology of Star Wars, but is he confusing make believe for what is real? Does he really believe that there is such a thing as the force? Is he in his bed at night praying to the force? Frankly, let me say, that he isn't, and it would be a little more than frivolous to imagine that he was in any danger of doing so.
Likewise with Harry Potter. Oh my! There are witches and magic in Harry Potter! Listen, even children know that these witches and their magic are all make believe, and even though that is self evident, yet when I watched a Harry Potter movie with my children, I took time to explain the distinction.
You see, here is my concern: I don't want to protect my children from make believe things. I want my children to know what real witchcraft is - appealing to demons for information or assistance. I want them to understand that it is real, and evil, and that no-one who loves God would dare to dabble in that. I don't want to equate Harry Potter with witchcraft, because what Harry Potter does is not witchcraft, it is make believe. He isn't summoning demons, nor is using spells as a means to motivate demons (or if you prefer, "spirits") to obey him and perform supernatural phenomenon. He is using a make believe ability ("magic") and those who have this ability in the Harry Potter story, are called "witches" or "warlocks" etc. No sober person ought to confuse what takes place in those movies for genuine witchcraft.
Now, that is not to say that I think Harry Potter movies are all spiffy and okay. Frankly I am offended at the way authority is portrayed as clueless, pointless, and more often wrong. I am offended on all kinds of parenting levels - but the concern that my children are going to become interested in witchcraft after seeing such a movie is not one of them.
Herein lies the heart of this post. You see: we need to protect our children (and ourselves!) from real danger, and real evil influences, but we stand to injure our selves and those whom we protect if we fail to make clear and sound distinctions between the real threats, and those things which have the appearance of a threat but are in fact (more or less) harmless.
We do not honor Christ by presenting ourselves as incapable of discerning between real and make believe, or worse, as actually being incapable of discerning between real and make believe.
I want to qualify this, lest anyone imagine I am saying that there is nothing whatsoever to be concerned about in secular children's programming. There is much to be on guard about. The world is not neutral, but is pushing an agenda that marginalizes (if not ridicules) Christian thought, and influence. We must be on guard against the philosophy of the world - the mind set of the world, as it is beamed into our houses daily in everything from commercials, to entertainment to news. The media is biased towards the flavor of the moment, and pretty much all content we find in the theatre, the television, and the radio is silently evangelizing the secular philosophical cause, and this isn't even (always) intentional. The media just wants to be relevant and modern, and in tune with the values of the society in which it sells itself.
So I do not suggest for a moment that children's TV shows (such as The Last Airbender) or movies and books primarily aimed at children (such as the Harry Potter movies/books) are harmless because most children are capable of distinguishing between real and make believe. Far be it from me to suggest that these things are "just fine" because children are capable of making elementary distinctions. What I -am- saying is that make believe depictions of pagan religions are no more dangerous than actual depictions of genuine pagan/world religions. The way we guard our children against genuine false religions, is not by sheltering them from the reality of other faiths, but rather by preaching the gospel to our children, and educating them about the Christian faith.
I don't suggest, in saying that the main argument against letting your children watch something like the Last Airbender or Harry Potter is naive, unbalanced, and even invalid, that for this reason parents should let their children watch anything the world has to offer. Rather I am suggesting that such decisions must be made according to what is reasonable, rational and real.
Am I protecting my child from a genuine danger, or am I blowing the whole thing out of proportion? Am I contending against the enemy, or am I contending against a straw man made to look like the enemy?
I believe that children are not stupid (mileage may vary here, I suppose, but in general). Children may be naive in their innocence, but any child who is receiving sound instruction in the word of God, and who sees that same word directing (and therefore transforming) the lives of their parents, is not going to confuse fictional religion, for real religion; such will not try to become Wiccans because they liked a Harry Potter movie (and I stress that I am making an apples and oranges connection here that even the dullest child would never make); likewise, such a child would not become a Buddhist because he hopes that in doing so he will be able to create fire in mid-air by thinking about it. Kids are simply not that stupid.
If a parent wants to restrict what their child is exposed to, I say amen and amen! I restrict what my children are exposed to. If there is something in as show or movie that leans on, or even exalts some world philosophy or religion, I am careful to discuss the same with my children so that they know, in no uncertain terms, the truth of what they are being exposed to.
I want my children to be strong in their faith, and that means they need to be able to distinguish between a real danger (look, there is a wild bear!) and the appearance of danger (Look, there is a poster of a real cartoon bear!). There is a danger, I think, and this is more pronounced in certain fundamentalist, and/or ultra-conservative congregations, of overstating the influence of pagan or secular philosophy and religion as it pertains to such things as books, and television shows or movies.
Can I be frank? Sure I can, it's my blog! I don't doubt that the enemy has found (manufactured?) a great tool in television. How better to lull the faithful into bed with the world than to inundate them with the message that worldliness is the norm, and good people are okay with it. How better to estrange the faithful from their Lord than by enticing them little by little through the veil of entertainment? They don't need to be told to be evil, they just need to be occupied with things other than Christ. Displace Christ in your life with anything, however small, and you injure the servant of the Lord.
The argument that this show or that show is especially bad is a tempest in a teapot. Look, if you, as a family, watch an hour or two of television a week, you are probably not displacing the Christian life with a secular one. But if you are watching two to six hours of television or movies each day (or if your poison runs in the direction of sports or hobbies) you are going to suffer loss. Loss in fellowship with the Lord, loss in growth, loss in assurance, and the work of faith (and the reward for that work). You will slowly grow cold, and it won't be because you have been influenced by worldly or secular philosophies, it will be because you have given yourself to gluttony, using your time to escape from, rather than pursue, the Lord.
But to guard against the thought that I am merely saying, X is only a little bad, and Y is very bad, so let's concern ourselves with Y before we concern ourselves with X - and thereby say that X is okay, because (relatively speaking) it isn't as bad as Y, let me say this: if anyone believes their children are going to turn in to Buddhists by watching the Last Airbender, or turn into Wiccans by watching Harry Potter - let them act accordingly. I don't suggest that because I let my kids watch such and such, that you're a bad Christian unless you do also. I leave room for this thought - that I may be naive in my thinking, I may be simply be justifying myself, I am a sinner after all, and like all sinners, if I can justify some sin, I am likely to continue in it, and boldly so. Perhaps I am just not spiritual enough to see this particular straw for the needle in the haystack it truly is. I leave room for the Lord to convince and convict me. But there will be proof in this pudding eventually; if my children turn into Wiccans and Buddhists on account of my having allowed them to watch cartoons depicting non-Christian characters in a make believe world, then I shall amongst all men, be most ashamed and filled with regret.
My position is not, therefore, that because there are bigger things to be concerned about, we ought not to consider soberly this particular thing. No, what I am saying is that in my estimation, there is no real substance to the idea that my children are going to be so influenced by cartoon versions of paganism that they will embrace the same or fail to see what is make believe or even false, for what it is.
The argument, as noted above, is truly about sheltering your children from non-Christian people, as opposed to simply non-Christian philosophy. I say this because just as their is no Christianity without Christ and without Christians, such that you cannot discuss Christianity without discussing those who bear the name, so also you cannot talk about sheltering your children from paganism without talking about sheltering them from actual pagans. The truth is they are going to meet people who have false faiths, and that these will likely make up the overwhelming majority of their acquaintances. Cartoons and movies that depict false faith, whether accurate depictions of real world religions, or just make believe stuff like magic and "the force" etc., are probably the least harmful way to introduce your children to the reality of the world in which they live and will live when you are no longer there.
If you are careful to explain the things you expose your children to, I do not believe you are committing a sin in watching a Harry Potter movie, or an episode of a show such as the Last Airbender (I am not talking about the movie by the way. I haven't seen it, and don't plan to).
My closing caution then is directed at those who tow the "Christian" line without ever having sat down and considered what it is they are doing. Yes we are to evil in our conduct, and cling to what is good in the same, but we can't use that scripture to isolate ourselves from the world in which we live. How can I abhor what is evil unless I learn what evil is? That isn't to say that I should indulge in evil in order to know what it taste likes, so that I can avoid it later - it is to say that in all things I must choose to abhor what is evil and cling to what is good.
Consider the rapist who pursues his own sexual gratification at the expense of his victim. Does the physical pleasure this man extracts from an act of violent violation make the physical pleasure of intimacy in marriage evil? Certainly not. There is nothing evil about the pleasure of intimacy - and yet there are some who in their zeal and ignorance, deny themselves the pleasure of intimacy in marriage for fear that they are sinning in enjoying it. Do we rejoice at their zeal? We are more likely to scoff at their ignorance.
In the same way, it is certainly wrong to take pleasure in abominable worship of false Gods, or portraying such worship as valid and spiritually acceptable. But it is not wrong to have a conversation with, or even (gasp!) befriend someone, who practices a false religion. It is wrong to think that a false religion is spiritually valid, but it is not wrong to recognize that false religion as culturally valid. We must live in this world without being of it, but some, in practice, go further than that. They so insulate themselves from the world, that they are not in it at all, but living in a cloistered Christian bubble, out of touch with the people in the world, as a matter of religious zeal, and think themselves to be doing the work of God in keeping themselves clueless.
Which is not to suggest, as some do, that we should all be worldly in order to reach the people of the world. You know, the whole church ought to be all coffee-sipping on comfy couches in ripped jeans while we have vague but interesting conversations about our selves in some religious context. I do not mean that we adopt some new, worldly scheme or way of doing church. I mean only that we have our houses next door to people who don't know Christ, and we work alongside people who do not worship their Creator, we live in this world wherein Christ is not exalted by His creation, and we are messengers to those who live here, going about the work of proclaiming what God has done, and living in the truth of it. Or at least we should be.
It is easy to try and press ourselves into various forms of religion, various images of righteousness, than to actually search out the Lord for ourselves. I know where I sin, and let me tell you, it happens in my heart, and not in my living room. I experience moments, as every parent does, where I am more concerned with entertaining myself and my family than I am with honoring God. I have moments where I am more concerned with my own time and how I spend it than I am with caring for my family. I am a sinner, and these are the things I take to the throne, and by faith overcome in Christ. Would that all His work was already completed in me!
But I cannot, in good conscience accuse my little one of sin when he pretends to be using "the force". I know the difference between make believe and reality, and I think my son does also. I do not believe that I am sinning in exposing my children to entertainment that makes use of science fiction or even imaginary people living on imaginary planets wherein there are imaginary personalities - some of which are not human, and wherein life and death have imaginary rules. I recognize that in many cases there will be real world philosophies and even false religions influencing these forms of entertainment, and when I see such things, I am as much on my guard as I know how to be, in order that I may faithfully guide my children around or through any worldly ideas as they are presented, with the end game being that they will themselves be able, in their faith, to navigate a sound course through and around the influences this world has to offer.
In the final analysis, we cannot, even if we tried with all diligence, truly isolate ourselves from the influences of the world, what we can do however, is not allow those influences to take hold in our lives. I think that is what we are called to do, as opposed to hiding ourselves and our children from them.
Of course, if someone wanted to, they could say that I am arguing that it is okay to expose our children to all manner of evil, but that would be to make a caricature of what I am saying.
There is a difference between allowing our children to watch a show that is otherwise harmless (provided the parent guides them through it), and allowing our children to watch things that will scar them for life regardless of whether or not we explain it to them.
I like to think that in the same way that any loving parent knows the difference between firmly padding a child's butt in loving correction and savagely and abusively beating a child in a fit of rage. So also most parents will recognize the difference between a show that is going to scar their child, and one that will not. Perhaps I have an overly developed sense of hope in parenthood. Time will tell.
Thus, Christian parent, if someone comes to you and says you are a sinner because you read a Harry Potter novel to your children, or because you watched an episode of Clone Wars, or the Last Airbender, or whatever - take that to heart. Examine yourself. Recall that this person is probably taking a chance in mentioning it - the chance that you might get angry or not like them anymore, or what have you. In other words, don't be offended if someone takes an interest in your spiritual health. Their interest, unless it is purely legalistic, is an act of love, if not towards you, certainly towards Christ whom they are trying to serve. Be honored therefore that they have counted you as faithful and are approaching you for your benefit, and not their own.
They, more often than not, want to err on the side of caution, as we all should. Perhaps it is nothing, but they refuse to ignore it, lest it fester unchallenged and hurt you and your family later.
At this point, if you are not soundly convinced from scripture and conscience that what you are doing is acceptable to God. STOP DOING IT, and thank your friend for calling this to mind.
If on the other hand you are convinced that what you are doing is not a senseless and selfish act of rebellion - but is in fact something you have reflected upon and embarked upon only after you have determined that in doing so you will offer no offence to your Lord, then patiently explain yourself (if time and circumstances allow) to the one who is concerned for your soul, and do so with thankfulness and humility - leaving yourself open to instruction, lest in pride you continue to sin.Labels: falsehoods, humility, parenting |
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posted by Daniel @
2:49 PM
3 comment(s)
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| Walking With My Son |
I forgot to renew the insurance on my van last week. Guess when I noticed? That's right, on Sunday morning. We live about three and a half kilometers from church (that's about two miles), so it isn't a very long walk, unless you have four children under the age of twelve, and snow everywhere.
I had already decided to walk with my eldest to church, and leave the remainder at home, when our Pastor called and offered to give our family a ride. I was quite grateful for that, but also a little disappointed, as I was looking forward to the walk with my son.
After the service, I asked my son if he would prefer to walk back with me, and that was his preference. So we walked. The snow was (thankfully) melting, the sun was quite bright in a blue sky - it was like a spring day. In Manitoba, these sorts of days don't happen till May, but we enjoyed this meteorological hiccup nonetheless.
Along the way back home we talked about something I would like to share.
My son's Sunday school teacher, Peter, is one of the fellows in my congregation I most respect and admire. He loves the Lord, and lives the love with such consistency and grace, I am glad that he is teaching my son. Peter wanted to take the whole class out to a local restaurant as sort of a celebration together, but my son didn't want to go.
My son has a job that pays about $12 a month. On this meagre income, He saved up and bought himself a $140 PSP, bought our family perhaps $45 dollars in gifts this last Christmas - buys birthday presents for his siblings on their birthday - and gives generously to charities such as world vision, etc. Unlike my other children, who typically spend their money on candy as fast as they get it, my son regards such things as frivolous, and not the greatest use of a limited commodity.
So when Peter made the offer to take my son and his classmates out for lunch, my son was concerned that Peter would be spending his money on him frivolously, and honestly didn't want Peter to use that money on him in that way. I say this without even a hint of exaggeration - my son was near tears at the thought that dear Mr. Peter might suffer want later on by this generous act, and in my son's thinking, the most loving thing he could do would be to reduce the financial burden he imagined he was placing Peter under.
That's gotta be my fault. Seriously, I have gone to great pains to teach my son the value of a dollar, to explain stewardship, and impress upon him the notion that saving money is better than spending it frivolously.
So on our walk home I wanted to explain to him why it is wrong to refuse another persons act of charity.
I began by asking my son, where does his money come from. He explained that he worked around the house, and had responsibilities for which he was remunerated each week. When I pressed him however, he said that it was I who paid him. I then asked where I got the money from, and he replied, "from your job."
"But who provided this job for me?", I asked. God did. My son knows that.
"What about your teacher, where does his money come from?"
God.
"When I feed you, who is feeding you?"
God.
"If your teach feeds you... who is feeding you?"
...God?
Do you see it son? Do you understand that I am just one of many vessels the Lord is using to bless you? If you accept the Lord's blessing from my hand, but refuse it from the hand of another, are you being wise or foolish?
Foolish.
What about if we invite a family over for supper. Do they owe us supper after that? Should they feel guilty because they are eating "our" food? Has God provided for our family and not theirs also? If I have two loaves and my brother has none, does God really intend for me to have two loaves, or does he intend to minister to my brother through me?
When scripture describes the early church as having all things in common - it wasn't describing communal living, it was describing this attitude that recognizes every good gift as coming to us from the Father of lights - and not necessarily for our own benefit - but for the benefit of those with which we are brought into fellowship.
It was a fruitful discussion, and I think my son has a better understanding of who provides for him. One of the duties of any father, is to wean his children off seeing him as their provider, and recognizing who has really been their provider all along. I take great joy as my little ones begin to see what I have known already - that we truly are brothers and sisters in Christ. We have our roles and responsibilities - but God alone deserves the glory. Anytime we lose sight of that, we feed the notion that men are actually beholden to this world and the things in it for their life.Labels: family, joy, parenting |
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posted by Daniel @
2:26 PM
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| Stop, Or I Shall Say Stop Again! |
I live in Canada.
When I was young I was a product of mainstream social engineering, i.e., a product of the public school system. Yes, yes, they taught me how to do maths and stuff, but mostly they taught me that the opinions of my peers were more important than my own, and that rocking the boat, or having a unpopular opinion was not merely bad - but marked you as anti-social, or worse, (and more commonly) a small-minded, bigot.
Even when I was in school they had sex education - where we were taught that masturbation is natural, good, and proper, if private, and that homosexuality was just another life choice, and that the only people who didn't think so were sexually repressed bigots who couldn't get their heads out of the sand. To be sure, this social programming was part of our education - we were being trained, sometimes subtly, but more often less so, that the greatest objective of life was to pursue the most permissive life possible, and subsequently, that anything which stilted or denied any sort of permissiveness was suffocating, small minded, and lacking sorely in the greatest virtue every exalted: tolerance.
Tolerance was a necessary component if we wanted to live the most permissive lives possible. The only rules, seemed to be, that you ought not to tolerate (or at least, you shouldn't have to tolerate) something that physically injured you. Thus the rule that was fed to us was do as much as you can as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.
This was reinforced by the peer system. The teacher's job was not only to teach us how to solve algebraic problems, but also to foster a social order that bred out individualism and objective truth. If a student held an opinion that offended another student - the first student's opinion was bad, and as it was the unspoken job of the teacher to facilitate peer driven uniformity in all things, to identify and ridicule anything that smelled of "intolerance" - and to eradicate it by fostering a negative group mentality against it - we were well on our way to being good liberal automatons.
But fortunately I heard the gospel and believed as a young man, and all the social programming in the world could not long obfuscate the truths of scripture. Shortly after I came to know Christ as my Savior, and believe (all) the words of scripture, I found myself unable to continue in my liberal leanings. Suddenly I was unable to pursue mass-permissiveness under the joint, noble guises of tolerance and equality, but found myself more and more convinced that giving the flesh more and more freedom would not benefit society, but destroy it.
So it is that I am somewhat dismayed by the recent political connivings in Canada - I speak of course of Bill S-209.
Presently, in section 43 of the Canadian Criminal Code, provision is made for using physical force to correct wayward behavior in children (i.e. spanking). The text itself reads:Every schoolteacher, parent or person standing in the place of a parent is justified in using force by way of correction toward a pupil or child, as the case may be, who is under his care, if the force does not exceed what is reasonable under the circumstances.
This section makes it plain that parents are justified in physically correcting their children when it is appropriate to do so. This section does not give the parent the right to exceed what is considered reasonable (that is, the parent or guardian is not allowed to abuse the child), but -is- entitled to correct the child according to the way children have been corrected every since time began.
The Bill, (S-209) would revoke this provision, and basically [1] expand "criminal" liability to parents and guardians who would attempt to correct deviant behavior with (formerly) reasonable persuasions; it would likewise, and subsequently [2] grant an unprecedented level of immunity to children and teenagers who themselves are not yet so discerning as to conduct themselves in a way that is always safe for themselves or for others (younger children) around them; and also it would [3] in no way alter the number of instances of genuine child abuse; as there are laws in place for such things already, instead it would (by expanding the definition of abuse) criminalize what has historically (not to mention biblically) been a productive and effective deterrent to aberrant behavior, before that behavior can take root and do more damage to the individual and to society as a whole.
I say, I hang my head in shame for this country, for whom permissiveness is the new state religion, and whose judgment is surely coming. May God grant this nation repentance, that it might escape the judgments that such madness will bring upon it.Labels: Canadiana, parenting |
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posted by Daniel @
12:49 PM
6 comment(s)
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| God My Teacher, The "Unlovable", Parenting Tips and Truth. |
 My eldest son has been the source of profound joy in my life. I love him profoundly. He is bright, funny, sensitive, and he genuinely loves me - even unashamedly. In parenting him God has taught me many things - and if you are a parent who is genuinely seeking the Lord, this will be no news to you, for I am certain that God is doing the same to you in many ways. Our God is the greatest teacher a willing student can have.
My son, for all his excellent qualities loses all trace of masculine toughness the moment he has the smallest dermal abrasion. A skinned knee will produce a hair raising and overly hysterical shrieking fit - such that any person with ears within a 100 yards would think that someone had just severed an arm, or perhaps punctured an internal organ.
The first time this happened, after the original scare (a child shrieking in hysterical pain is a little unsettling for the parent) I was a little amused, and a little put out at the same time. "Son" I said, "this little scrape is hardly worth noticing, let alone carrying on the way you have." I suggested that he toughen up, and save the freaking out for -real- injuries. But the same scenario has now played itself out several time, and each it seems for smaller, and less significant injuries.
Clearly my boy - this great little hope of ours - is a complete sissy. Or at least that is what I would be calling him if I were still his age and on a school playground. I suppose you think that is harsh? Well, it -is- harsh, but I make no apologies when I am portraying what I would do as a school kid. I started school as a rather slight four year old, and being about a year behind the rest of the children in age, I was the easy target of many bullies myself. Being a clever kid however I learned to use a caustic wit to my advantage; I avoided being bullied, for the most part, by being funny at the expense of others. That is I was especially capable when it came to poking fun at the expense of other people. I would find a person who was a little different than everyone else, and make him or her the butt of my cruel jokes - and in this way exhort everyone to hate someone else and not me.
Yeah. I was pure evil even as a kid.
So seeing this trait in my son stirred something ugly in me, but it was only when I was open in prayer before the Lord about it that I was able to see what it was. The reason I was so repulsed by this behavior in my son was because I was worried that others would seize upon it and make fun of him.
Now, that might seem noble if I left it at that - and to be sure, I suppose had I not been in prayer I may well have, but God wanted to show me a thing about who I am. So he asked me why it was that I was so worried. No, not in some audible voice, and no not in some mystical sense - but rather that in prayer I was willing to ask myself these questions, and allow God to show me something of who I am, and when that happens and some spiritual truth is revealed to me, I don't for a second imagine that I am the one who generated it, but that my sovereign God was putting the road beneath my feet as I walked on - a road that led to exactly where I found myself. So I went "deeper" as they say, and found that the reason I was worried wasn't because I didn't my son to be emotionally put out by people thinking he is a sissy - it was because -I- didn't want people to judge me and my parenting on account of this trait in my son.
Don't marvel that I am sinner. Marvel that God is able to show me my sin, for at the root of this, just as it always is - is the "old man" - that body of sin that is characterized best by saying "the thing that I really love the most".
You see, as Christians we are supposed to love God the most, and while we have a good supply of affection towards God, the carnal Christian still loves self more than anything else - that is why we continue in sinful habits, that is why we never get close to God - because the love with which we are loving one another (even our children and our spouses) is at the base of it carnal and self serving. I "love" me, and that love for myself finds expression in other people. Whatever love I have for my family or my church family, or anyone - that love always serves me first, and them second, and if extending my affection to a person isn't going to serve me - I say that person is "hard to love".
We do that. Old Mr. So-and-so, he is hard to love. Yeah, it would take a real special person to love him. He is just so hard to love.
Nonsense. No one is hard to love, the truth is that some of the people we know seem like a bad "love investment" to us - that is, we see no benefit to loving that person, and so we call them "hard to love" - which distilled means that loving them serves no useful purpose to us, such that it would be quite an act of selflessness to bother.
Oh, Don't get me wrong, we may grit our teeth and go through the wooden motions of obedient "I-have-been-told-that-love-is-an-action-not-an-emotion" love; complete with the echoes of poorly exegeted and entirely arbitrary distinctions between agape and phileo love ringing in our ears - and even though we secretly despise doing so, and even though we are convinced in our soul that we are the greatest deceivers and play actors who are merely pretending to be what we present our self to be - we may well go and suffer through a conversation or even a meal with the "unlovable" and do so in the meritorious hope that God is glorified by our charlatanry, as though against our true colors in secret hatred, was the Christian loves the unlovable. I don't doubt that there are some in our ranks who love the unlovable in this way so often that they have become numb to their own dissatisfaction and blind to their own hypocrisy, if ever they saw it. Surely it is taught by many as the very height of Christian love.
But I say, this kind of love is foolish, and following after it more tomfoolery.
You see, we are not supposed to take that same self serving "love" with which we have learned all our lives to "love" other people with - the love that is really a love for self bouncing off of willing people and back at us for our own glory - and learn to ply it upon people who (by our own account) are not likely to reflect it back at us in any profitable way - no. That is not Christian love, it is the very epitome of a bad investment, and that is why we recoil at it.
Instead, God's solution is that the "love" by which you love others right now - the one that makes distinctions between good and bad investments? That one has to be taken to the cross and die there. There is nothing spiritual in it. It may be all we know, but it must die. Don't try applying this kind of "self-o-centric love" to the unlovable; good gravy no! Drag it out into the light of God's truth, and look at it. Look at it! Why don't you love the unlovable? Because you get nothing out of it. Don't be aloof here, dig into this. If the love that you love others with cannot effortlessly love everyone equally, let me tell you - it ain't love, it is self-love. It is that thing that you do to make people like you. It is the thing you are willing to put out there because it gives you what you desire - friendship, camaraderie, humor, joy, pleasure - whatever: but it ain't love.
You aren't born loving - you are born selfish, and the love that you need for others doesn't come with practice, it comes through the cross, and only through the cross. It doesn't come with trying, it doesn't come with crying, it doesn't come by prying - listen: it doesn't come to you except through dying.
Now when I say dying, I mean coming to Christ daily - let me make it more practical - coming to Christ in every waking moment - leaving nothing of our lives outside his dominion, but leaning obediently, moment by prayerful moment, on the risen Lord. Look, you -must- cut sin out of your life for good.
Do you have only one sinful habit that you can't seem to break? Let me tell you, if you have one, you likely have hundreds. If you have even one you are a slave of sin - and your "fellowship" with God is likely characterized by horrible tension, frustration, guilt, and an unyielding sense of hypocrisy - that isn't fellowship brother, that is a heart that is writhing under the burden of condemnation. You -can- stop sinning, you just don't want to.
That's my ten cent counseling by the way. For 25 cents, I will throw in a shoe shine.
Seriously, the reason you are so far away from God is not because you haven't read enough books on how to get close, or enough blog posts about how to be spiritual, it isn't because you haven't heard enough sermons, it is because you are willing to do everything else in the world but the one thing you NEED to do right now, and that is to submit yourself utterly to God. The reason you don't do that is that you do not want God to rule over you.
Oh, I hear you complaining - "But I doooo want God to reign over me, that is why I am in such a horrible place of tension and despair - because I want it with all my heart, but I can't make myself surrender no matter how hard I try!!"
I say, I hear you complaining, because I know that voice, I wept myself hoarse with that voice for years. How long are you going to drag your cross around Christian? Take it to Calvary and die - that's what the cross is there for. There comes a day when you must stop your whining, and start the dying. Is it going to be today?
Hear me, if you are still reading - my youngest daughter is four years old. She is number three of the four we presently have. My eldest son took to obedience like a duck to water - he has seldom needed correction, and is such a kind and thoughtful helper, that I love to be around him. My eldest daughter is a sensitive soul, full of grace and love - she was strong willed for a time, but when that was over come she became the sweetest of angels - she is my little prayer princess - she prays for me all the time, and I am so touched by her tender love for me, and her soft concern for others. I pity the man that ever harms her, for he will be touching the very softest chords of my heart. But our third child, my youngest daughter - she did -not- take to discipline like the others. I could discipline her every half hour for months on end for a single thing, and her will would in no way break - she is like a stone to me.
I prayed for her so many times, "Lord, please, please, please, change her - please break that stone will of hers, please give us strength to deal with her, help us not to despise her, give us more love for her, etc. etc." All my prayers were that God would make me stronger so that I could break her. But that isn't what God did. Instead she got stronger willed.
But here is where our Lord, our Teacher blessed us. My eldest took to discipline because he was an only child and he had our attention completely. The investment we made in his life can be measured in hours we spent giving him personal one-on-one attention. That investment paid off in that when he was old enough to be disciplined, our opinion meant something to him. My eldest daughter didn't get as much one-on-one. She was rebellious for a time because our investment in her was not as encompassing as our investment in our older child. Yet eventually she came around, and took to discipline because she too had come to know us, to know that we were worthy of the respect that she gave us - she trusted us and discipline became fruitful. But number three?
Listen: we weren't parenting out of some manual that tells you all the mistakes you are making. We made them all in the blind. I can tell you today exactly why number three went "awry", and it has everything to do with my shortsighted leadership, and our poor parenting - the two who were already obedient children - their very obedience became the reason we would desire to spend time with them, number three's constant stubborn rebellion? Hey, I don't have the patience to correct you twenty times in a row, get to your room. Get to your room. Stop that. Stop. Go over there. Stop. I don't want to be around you when you are like this.... Do you see the pattern?
She didn't take to discipline because she didn't receive enough of us to "know" us - she couldn't accept our authority because although we were looking after feeding her, clothing her, and giving her plenty of room to participate in our family as "just another number" - she didn't receive the investment that the others had - and it is this one on one time that opens the door to her accepting us as authorities in her life. Do you understand this? Do you see it? She didn't accept our authority, she couldn't love our laws because she didn't know us enough to do so... Do you see where I am going yet? Praise the Lord that he has opened our eyes to this now before it is too late...
Look, you dear reader, are not going to love and obey a God that you don't really know. Try all you want, your record of consistent failure will eventually convince you that something is wrong. Let me tell you again, the problem is that you don't know God personally - you just know about him - you have knowledge of good and evil, but you do not know life, you are eating from the wrong tree my friend.
This is what you must do. Today, settle it with God that you are going to begin to obey Him. Do it. If you can't then you aren't very serious yet, and maybe you should print this off and come back to it in a couple of years after you have made yourself sick of failure enough. But if you are ready - talk to God and begin to obey. Why? Because you must obey God to get to know God - and once you get to know God you will want to obey him. You don't really want to right now - don't pretend otherwise - but hear me - you *will* want to. God is the pearl of great price, you just haven't got eyes to see that yet. You've eaten the fruit of knowledge - your mind may know this is true - but now you need to eat from the tree of life - you need to put into practice what you know or even what is only your greatest hopeful suspicion - you need to start obeying so that you can start knowing - and once you start to know God you will begin to desire what God desires.
But you will never know God by living in disobedience, by living in half-way Christianity, by practicing a religious form, or even by (gasp) having the most theologically correct doctrine on the planet - listen, don't chase the clouds when your feet are still on the ground - learn to fly first. Your wings are obedience. Finney was a heretic, but I tell you what - I bet he was more Christian than you are, not because his doctrine was better than yours, but because he actually surrendered himself to God. Don't imagine that surrendered living is going to make your doctrine perfect - or you perfect for that matter, but it will make you love God, and it will open the door to obedience that comes from the heart and not the head.
Can I pray for you reader? I am talking to God, as I type this, Lord let these who are meant to grow by this grow. Let them love you let them know you. Help my words to be understood in their spirit. Give them grace to grab the plow. Amen.
Reader, Christian - the reason we obey is not to pacify a task-master God. It is because the way of holiness leads to fellowship in the Spirit. Don't suffer anything less no matter how shiny the label.Labels: cross, God, parenting, sanctification, Teaching, truth, unlovable |
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posted by Daniel @
5:26 PM
11 comment(s)
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