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Daniel of Doulogos Name:Daniel
Home: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
About Me: I used to believe that evolution was reasonable, that homosexuality was genetic, and that people became Christians because they couldn't deal with the 'reality' that this life was all there was. I used to believe, that if there was a heaven - I could get there by being good - and I used to think I was more or less a good person. I was wrong on all counts. One day I finally had my eyes opened and I saw that I was not going to go to heaven, but that I was certainly going to suffer the wrath of God for all my sin. I saw myself as a treasonous rebel at heart - I hated God for creating me just to send me to Hell - and I was wretched beyond my own comprehension. Into this spiritual vacuum Jesus Christ came and he opened my understanding - delivering me from God's wrath into God's grace. I was "saved" as an adult, and now my life is hid in Christ. I am by no means sinless, but by God's grace I am a repenting believer - a born again Christian.
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Daniel's posts are almost always pastoral and God centered. I appreciate and am challenged by them frequently. He has a great sense of humor as well.
- Marc Heinrich

His posts are either funny or challenging. He is very friendly and nice.
- Rose Cole

[He has] good posts, both the serious like this one, and the humorous like yesterday. [He is] the reason that I have restrained myself from making Canadian jokes in my posts.
- C-Train

This post contains nothing that is of any use to me. What were you thinking? Anyway, it's probably the best I've read all day.
- David Kjos

Daniel, nicely done and much more original than Frank the Turk.
- Jonathan Moorhead

There are some people who are smart, deep, or funny. There are not very many people that are all 3. Daniel is one of those people. His opinion, insight and humor have kept me coming back to his blog since I first visited earlier this year.
- Carla Rolfe
 
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Thursday, February 03, 2011
When my heart feels so corrupt I can't trust myself to pray.
It happens.

It is the feeling of guilt over our sin. Perhaps it is failure over some particular sin that we are unwilling to surrender, or perhaps it is many such sins -but make no mistake, we all will feel, from time to time, the ache of guilt so deeply that when we bow our heads to pray to God about it, we feel as though there is no way we can express our grief and failure because deep down, what is causing this ache is the fact that we don't want to give up the sin or sins that are causing us such turmoil in our soul.

What we are experiencing is the love of God, even if we are too dull to understand it as such. It is the loving ministry of the Holy Spirit within us that refuses to allow us to make peace with the sin in our life. It is God Himself ministering a godly conviction in us, so that we cannot easily ignore that which is limiting the only joy that matters. You see, God is for us, not against us, but the enemy will try and fool us into believing that God is against us because we are so corrupt and wicked - and this even after all God has done for us.

Here then is where truth sets you free. You see, God is not against you, He was already for you when you were still unsaved, and His unwitting enemy. It was He, and not you, who instigated your faith - He drew you in. Like Paul on the road to Damascus, you were not looking for God, God was looking for you - whatever experience you have had, however you came to want to be a Christian - God was the subtle, but sure Author of it. You were chosen by God to be His child, not because there was anything good found in you, not because you began to pursue God - rather you love God only because His love for you personally, drew you to Him.

This feeling of corruption, and worthlessness is a sharing in God's own affections, and God has no affection for your sin. What you are feeling is a watered down version of God's own revulsion over the sin that you are embracing, and you feel this in order that you may know that the thing is repugnant to Him. He lets you share in His revulsion because there is nothing in your flesh to show you the thing is wicked - in fact, your flesh is the very thing that wants to embrace it. Unless God shared this revulsion with you, all you would have is your knowledge that the thing is wrong, and perhaps your conscience would bother you.

So this revulsion is a good thing, but it is also something the enemy will attempt to use to blind you. The enemy wants to cripple you, and tell you that God hates you, or God won't understand you, or God is against you, and that until you straighten it all out, you have no right coming to God - that God's throne is a throne of judgment, and that if you are going to come to God, you better be clean, lest He judge you. He will try to keep you far away from God, because the longer you are absent from God in your affections, the colder you will become, and the more likely your faith will shrink rather than grow.

Scripture does not call the enemy a toothless lion - He is a roaring lion who is able to devour all the good that you should and could do by separating you from God so that you wither rather than grow.

Listen, when you feel that you cannot come to God because you are so foul, so stuck in your sinful ways, so unwilling to turn, that you regard prayer as something that would surely only affront God - that is when you need to pray the most. God already knows all these things - and if you are His child, He knew this would all happen even before He drew you to Himself - and even knowing your present failure, He still chose you. I don't know that God saw something in you, but God certainly put Himself in you, and you in Him. Don't let the devil win the field today, you are God's child - hand picked to be His adopted son or daughter. He knew this day would come, even when you were convinced that God loved you because you were so willing or so earnest. Now is the day that you need to trust in Him - trust that He has chosen you, and that His love is not conditioned on the perfection of your walk, or your obedience, or your faith - but is in fact unconditional.

The throne where you will meet Him is called the throne of grace, not because it sounds nice, but because that is the essence of it - we who approach it do so assured that God is going to be gracious, not because we deserve it, for grace cannot be earned. Go then to your knees if you have been long away, and trust that God is there, for you.

Don't let another day go by where the enemy dances over you, but stand up out of the mire, remember who your Father in heaven is, and Who has won you the right to stand in His presence - it has never been because you were worthy, but because you are in Christ. Go then to the throne in boldness.

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posted by Daniel @ 6:14 AM  
7 Comments:
  • At 3:01 PM, February 03, 2011, Blogger Jim said…

    The essence of the throne...what a great reminder! He is extending His grace to us. Amen.

     
  • At 5:03 PM, February 03, 2011, Blogger Frank Turk said…

    hey: e-mail me, pastor.

    Frank@iturk.com

     
  • At 7:15 PM, February 03, 2011, Blogger Daniel said…

    Jim, it is a great truth!

    Frank - Will do.

     
  • At 5:27 PM, February 04, 2011, Blogger donsands said…

    "Scripture does not call the enemy a toothless lion - He is a roaring lion.."

    Yep. He is an angel of light as well. Luther says there are white devils and black devils.

    My pastor in his prayers this past Sunday asked our Lord to crush Satan under our feet.
    I thought that is a good prayer. Yet, he will bruise our heel.

    Jesus also said, "We will tread upon scorpions, serpents, and spiders, and over all the enemies we come against." (Luke 10:19)

    Thanks for such a good study Daniel.

    I have found that genuine Christian hearts will from time to time condemn themselves. I do. But God is greater than our heart.
    And we have the promise from Paul's inspired epistle to the church at Rome, where he said: "Therefore, there is NOW, No condemnation for those who are in Christ."

    How powerful that is to be in Christ!

    Sin crouches at my door, and is ever present, and so i need good teachings like yours.

    Thanks.

    have a terrific joy filled Lord's Day Daniel. And have a blessed Super Bowl celebration, if that is something you do.

     
  • At 8:20 PM, February 10, 2011, Blogger Baptist Girl said…

    thank you, that was so encouraging to read.

     
  • At 9:16 PM, February 10, 2011, Blogger Daniel said…

    BG - I write from the trenches. ;^)

    Praise God that He has done it all.

     
  • At 9:17 PM, February 10, 2011, Blogger Daniel said…

    Don,

    I didn't even know it was super bowl weekend! I hope one of the teams won.

     
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