H  O  M  E          
Theological, Doctrinal, and Spiritual Musing - and whatever other else is on my mind when I notice that I haven't posted in a while.
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Daniel of Doulogos Name:Daniel
Home: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
About Me: I used to believe that evolution was reasonable, that homosexuality was genetic, and that people became Christians because they couldn't deal with the 'reality' that this life was all there was. I used to believe, that if there was a heaven - I could get there by being good - and I used to think I was more or less a good person. I was wrong on all counts. One day I finally had my eyes opened and I saw that I was not going to go to heaven, but that I was certainly going to suffer the wrath of God for all my sin. I saw myself as a treasonous rebel at heart - I hated God for creating me just to send me to Hell - and I was wretched beyond my own comprehension. Into this spiritual vacuum Jesus Christ came and he opened my understanding - delivering me from God's wrath into God's grace. I was "saved" as an adult, and now my life is hid in Christ. I am by no means sinless, but by God's grace I am a repenting believer - a born again Christian.
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The Buzz

Daniel's posts are almost always pastoral and God centered. I appreciate and am challenged by them frequently. He has a great sense of humor as well.
- Marc Heinrich

His posts are either funny or challenging. He is very friendly and nice.
- Rose Cole

[He has] good posts, both the serious like this one, and the humorous like yesterday. [He is] the reason that I have restrained myself from making Canadian jokes in my posts.
- C-Train

This post contains nothing that is of any use to me. What were you thinking? Anyway, it's probably the best I've read all day.
- David Kjos

Daniel, nicely done and much more original than Frank the Turk.
- Jonathan Moorhead

There are some people who are smart, deep, or funny. There are not very many people that are all 3. Daniel is one of those people. His opinion, insight and humor have kept me coming back to his blog since I first visited earlier this year.
- Carla Rolfe
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Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Twenty Year Anniversary
My wife and I celebrate our Twentieth anniversary today.

At this significant milestone in my marriage, I am reminded of that sad and sobering song, "You were always on my mind" (the Willie Nelson version).  I always had a love/hate relationship with the lyrics, but found both the melody and Willie's vocals rather haunting. 

The song is written from the perspective of someone who wants a second chance to make things right after their enduring self interested neglect had destroyed the relationship they were in.  The (impotent) plea that carries the tune is that this same neglect which undid their relationship was not without good intentions.

I am reminded of this tune because it describes, in unvarnished clarity, one reason why relationships wither away: selfishness.  Selfishness does not express itself as a lack of affection so much as a lack of effort.  We please and serve ourselves first rather than our spouses.  Do you want to see a happy marriage?  Find a couple who have learned to invest in one another, and you will find a happy marriage.

You don't need to be a Christian to invest yourself in your spouse - but you do need to be a Christian if you plan on doing that in a way that isn't superficial.  Don't get me wrong - superficial is good enough for many, but it is hardly good enough for the believer.  For the believer, the problem isn't that I am not investing in one thing (my spouse in this instance)  it is that I am destructively investing everything in another thing: myself.

Why am I not investing in others?  Because I am mono focused on investing all my energies in myself.  Do you want to gauge whether or not you are invested in others? Then ask yourself  with judgment day honesty: how often do you (earnestly) pray for others - and why?  Do you pray for others out of a sense of religious duty? Guilt?  Or do you pray for others because they are worth more to you than you are to yourself?  If you aren't praying for others regularly, or if your prayers are the sort of superficial (list-minded) nonsense that passes for piety in some circles, I suggest that you are missing out on a good thing - a real blessing.

If God blesses me with another twenty years of marriage (and preferably more), let me be as one who serves his wife, first in earnest prayer, and second in earnest living - not looking for recompense for my effort - but allowing my effort to be the fruit of God's work in me as I surrender to Him in this regard. Let it be a genuine blessing and a joy - a tree planted by rivers of water that bears fruit in it's season.

Now, to my wife who may read this:  You hate it when I call you "sweetheart" without pouring into the pet name all the affection that such a name presupposes.  I get that now.  I hope the Lord, in His grace will bless you with a better husband in me.
posted by Daniel @ 9:10 AM  
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